I write this from personal experience, and it should be taken as advice.

Always use *common sense*, If you don't understand something, ask questions. And if something doesn't feel right, go with you gut feelings. If it feels wrong, it usually is.
And remember there is never one way to do anything....

So you have spent years talking on alt.com, bondage.com, IRC, watching BDSM porn and reading beauty books ... and now you are ready for BDSM to become a real part of your life (whatever that may be).

First thing you do, is forget all you learned from the above! "Domme" is NOT pronounced dom'may, it's French for "Dom", and is pronounced "Dom" (think of shoppe, its said shop) The real world doesn't work the way any of those did! Its way better, its real!!!

I personally believe the best thing to do for beginners is to read some BDSM/lifestyle educational books first, like "SM 101" from Jay Wiseman if you interested in general BDSM. If you into bondage you should pick up a copy of the Erotic Bondage Handbook , becuase bondage can have a lot of medical safety issues you need to know about!.

Then start socializing in public. Most mid-sized or larger cites have Munches / sloshes (even allot of smaller cities do). Munches / sloshes are non-play public gathering of kinky people usually at a restaurants or bar. Then once you are comfortable with those, and learn about how the BDSM scene really works, you move on. And remember if you don't understand something, use common sense and/or just ask someone in charge (event runner, etc) what you should do! And remember, always trust your gut feelings. Allot of people are afraid to go to public BDSM places because their afraid to be scene in public or afraid they might see someone they know. You have to remember everyone is there for the same reason you are so there is nothing to be afraid of. And meeting people off the Internet to play with, especially privately can be VERY dangerous.

Once your comfortable with munches and find out information about the local scene, you can move on. I hate to call them this , but you can then go to a "dungeon", a BDSM play space. Now I suggest the first handful of time you go to a "dungeon" that you just watch and socialize. You can learn allot from just watching other people play. Also you will learn general scene protocol from it and dungeon rules.

When you feel it is time to play, I suggest you always play in a *public* play space (aka a dungeon), were there is a lot of other people around who can look out for your safety. Below is other material I suggest you read to help you with you journey into the lifestyle.

Mortis.

Articles and info
	Safety: VERY IMPORTANT rules and safety tips
	Dungeon Protocol General Dungeon Rules and Protocol Out of the Safety Zone: Codes of Conduct and Identity in SM Communities
	IRC and Internet chat help page : If you want to chat online with use, and what you should know about Internet and Internet safety
	Check Lists: To help you plan and learn about yourself and your partner. Interactive on-line checklist www.theBRC.net